By comparing the two articles, I think the first article “Introduction to the Grand Challenges for Engineering” is more useful for an engineering professor. Engineering has been playing a great role ever since the civilization began. In the modern era, the world population is booming and at the same time people’s needs for a higher quality life are also increasing. Therefore, there are more challenges and opportunities that await our engineers, especially in the four popular aspects, namely sustainability, heath, vulnerability and joy of living (passage 1).
Personally, as an engineering undergraduate, I’m very proud to see that engineering has the responsibility to take care of the world and to make our earth a better place. In my opinion, among all the four main challenges, sustainability is the most urgent problem, for the nature resources are not infinite. In other words, the more we consumed, the less we left. People now consider using the solar energy which is renewable and seems to be endless. But converting the normal sunshine into such an economical and useful form of power still waits for the engineers’ solutions.
Meanwhile, since the environment is so fragile and nature needs to take a relatively long time for it to recycle, it’s very easy to be polluted by human activities. The misuse of the environmental resources indeed accelerates the degeneration of nature. Let’s take the ozone layer depletion as an example. The ozone layer was mainly damaged by the emission of CFCs, or chlorofluorocarbons, which were often used as a cooling agent. People used to think that CFCs were chemically safe and stable, so they had put CFCs into the industry in a large scale. People did not realize its harms or destruction until the bad side effects were detected. From then on, the rescue of the environment began. It needs the technological supports from engineers and scientists, and a cleaner and more effective substitute should be created.
Engineering is not only about to comprehend nature, but to change the world a more convenient home for all human beings as well. They have to take the duty to meet social demands, and sustain our precious natural resources for generations.
Reference:
Introduction to the Grand Challenges for Engineering, from: http://www.engineeringchallenge.org/cms/8996/9221.aspx
3 条评论:
i have already read your response,i think you have done well. you have stated your own point clearly at the first of the article about which one you preferred and it is easy for me to understand your following text. the support part you state two main aspects that you thought were important challenges and tasks for today's engineering. and you also gave examples to support your ideas and used tansition, which is the weak part for me to improve. but one thing i still want to say, the first one of the portfolio we should write a paragragh, but not a whole article...o(∩_∩)o...
Dear JinCan,
It is Mai. I am really happy when typing this message since I have had to guess and try many times to access this comment.
About your "response 1", I love it. Especially, I appreciate your point of view about the environment. This writing reflects your responsibility to our future, and as a future engineer, this character is most important.
Following your journey, I feel comfortable to understand your idea because of the clarity in your statement and the supporting details. I only have some minor comments for your first work.
As further as I understand, your first paragraph is used to present your general idea after reading the 2 articles. After that, you continue narrowing the point of view in the second paragraph. The third paragraph is the place you give your proof and arguments following by your conclusion at the 4th paragraph.
First, I think it will be better if you narrow down the scope of the essay in the first paragraph with the thesis statement. You have a persuasive argument in this issue, and I wonder whether you should have one more example about this to make it better.
Second, your conclusion should summarize what you have just said before being followed by the great idea about engineers' duty. It is more convenient to follow if you include more signals in this writing. Especially, you have the right citation, from which I have to learn.
Finally, anyway, you have a really good first effort. Thus, I look forward to your second writing.
See you at our class.
Cheers,
hey Jin Can,
First, nice weekends for you. and later on, i have just read your "new response 1". I'd most like your example about "ozone" and "CFC". you have used good transition signals to link paragraphs and sentences in each paragraph well. :D:D. however, the topic sentence of the second paragraph is not very fine. Anyway, good job, good job, jin can.
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